“Excuse me”
“I hope I’m not being rude”
“May I”
“I understand”
“please don’t let me bother you”
“Thank you”
There is an absolutely amazing quote in the movie kingsman that can basically summarize the message in the article.
“manners maketh man”
What this means is that you raise your standards regarding how you treat people that you come to interact with by being considerate and empathetic towards them regardless of how they might behave.
But what might motivate such an altruistic behavior?
What motivates a man to be so unselfish and polite to people and expect nothing in return.
That is the theme we shall address today
Being polite is a virtue not everyone is born with , it has been taught to us since our school days but somewhere along the line we get socially conditioned to either forego this virtue completely or we be come rather too polite and get labeled somewhat beta by society.
To be polite means to be considerate and respectful of the people you interact with, also referred to as being empathetic. Though I prefer to use the word polite as it is much less rooted in community culture .
When you show that you understand the situation a person is in, what they might feel and bow you make them feel at any given moment you are basically communicating that you are socially calibrated enough to know there position and what you do next is after realizing and addressingthe other parties situation.
People want to be validated , respected and will respond to you based on whether you take their emotions into account.
I once stood at the ticket collection counter at a railway station and just before purchasing my ticket noticed how absolutely tired the female attendant seemed
This is how our conversation went
Me “good evening are you having a good day”
Female collector -With a huge smile on her face” thank you, you are the first one to wish me all day”
Me “don’t overwork yourself , its not good for ones health” laughing
She bid me farewell and I could see she appreciated someone taking an interest in her and appreciating her efforts
People want to feel respected and important and a polite person takes into account there situation , addresses it and may choose to  validate their efforts.
The advantages of this are many.
People treat you the way you treat them, so you get more attention and time
You will be able to inspire people to support your actions or help you with tasks
People who might have been unwilling will take out time for you
People know you hold yourself to a higher standard
The vibe of the interactions is considerably better
People want to do things for you
People want to have you around
But now the major question is how does translate to dating and relationships.
Anyone who has ever gone up to a woman and cold approached her
Might be aware of the terms ”I’m in a hurry”,”I’m waiting for a friend”, “I have to go”
, “what do you need” etc and a lot if times they may just run off.
Now this happens because of a lack of empathy for the other party
You forget going up to a person in a low energy environment where if is outside the normal to interact with other strangers is not only outside her reality but something she has never done before, so naturally has no idea how to behave.
In this situation going loud, or straight up intense like “ you look beautiful” or even a meager compliment is very counter productive.
A polite person understands this is not normal and goes in low key (what some may even call indirect) and a crow the situation by empathizing with her. He can also go as far as saying “I hope I’m not being rude” or “ you can leave if you want” .
Realize that if she is standing in front of you it is polite to talk to her even if she has nothing to say because the truth is she is awkward and unlike you may not be used to this.
If you get approach anxiety , these lovely creations of god have “approached anxiety” so respect that.
I have had countless interaction where women have praised me for being polite and understanding.
This is not some technique for you, this is something you do for her.. It is a virtue and a way of life.. you do it for her because if you take it upon yourself to go chat her up it is your responsibility as a man and a person to make them feel comfortable. If you can do that they will feel inspired to hang out close to you for as long as they can.
And we all know time is an ally.
It will also make you safer than most guys in their life and they are bound to keep coming back to you.
Just one thing
Remember to balance your polite nature with being able to express personal boundaries
For if you fail here. Then you have already lost.
Because she will stay with you true but arousal is not something in a beta mans fate.
And the last thing we want is to be a beta male don’t we.
So remember
Be polite
Be empathetic
Be considerate
Express personal boundaries
And you will see your dating life expand exponentially. It also translates very well to your business as well as social circle
See you around , feel free to ask anything